I’m Nicole, I’m a 33 year old mother to 6 and I’m from Melbourne, AUSTRALIA.

I recently come to find Taylor’s feed and so thankful I did I support everything she is doing and all the support I’ve received so far, let me start by saying I’m the most non-judgmental person you could come across, I am in support of YOUR choices for you babies, vax or no vax! It’s not my business but I’m sharing this story to raise awareness around vaccination reactions. I have 6 children, 5 of which are all vaccinated.

Here is my journey with my last child Scarlett. Please remember this is our journey and just because things went for the worst for Scar, doesn’t mean they will for your little one, it’s just to raise awareness and to support other Mums and Dads if they are feeling pressured, as I was very pressured.

When Scarlett was Around 4 months old, she was found in her bassinet blue and unresponsive, she was not breathing.

We called an ambulance to our home when she was transported to hospital. Scarlett was sent home on the grounds she had reflux and choked on fluid that had built up. Scarlett then went on to have another episode when the same thing happened only this time she looked as though she was having a seizure. We were sent home on the grounds she had a febrile convulsion (she wasn’t unwell). Scarlett went on to have another episode three days later we didn’t call an ambulance right away as we were dismissed a couple of times, instead we thought it may be better to rush her to our local medical centre. So we did once we arrived the episode had stopped…(I’ll never forget the words) from the last hospital visit “don’t call an ambulance don’t waste medical teams/doctors time. Your an over protective mum”.

While we were sitting in the waiting room, Scarlett went on to have another one she was rushed into the doctors suite and they put oxygen on her. They called an ambulance and she was again taken to the same hospital. They placed us in a waiting room for several hours. She started to deteriorate. She went on to have another seziure in front of the doctors the conducted a few tests but had no idea what was happening to my baby. When she did have that one in front of them, they called the children’s hospital and had her transported where she went on to have 14-16 seizures in a couple of hours. They couldn’t stop them, they didn’t know why, they asked me over and over what happened “did you drop her” did she fall?

They went through her birthing details our family history, they did an MRI on her, a cat scan, X-rays, took fluid from her spine, sedated her, put oxygen on her many times, resuscitated her once I believe.

Through this whole process they KNEW THAT 4-7 DAYS PRIOR she had her first lot of injections.

It did not enter my head about injection reactions, my other kids are fine.

I suppose that made it extra easier for them to not inform me it’s a possibility.

They were able to finally stop her seizures via medication through her skull.

Scar was admitted and more testing was conducted. When she was discharged we went home with the “we don’t know” “we have not got any answers yet” but around 2 months later they called us, they’d conducted a genetics blood test by chance a test that came back, my baby has a micro-deletion in chrome 16.

They blamed/assumed that the cluster of seizures was linked to this but they couldn’t and still won’t tell me if they are.

When I researched about spontaneous seizures and vaccinations came up, I put it all together, so I started to ask questions.

Questions that were dismissed, questions with answers that went like this… “it’s rare”, “definitely not a reaction”, “ it’s more than likely her deletion but we cannot be 100 percent sure”.

The fun started then they wanted her next lot of vaccinations done, as she’d been seizure-free for almost 12 months.

She started to have breath-holding attacks which sometimes almost trigger a seizure.

After so many appointments and several GP visits begging for a medical exemption, we found one doctor on our side.

We got it for 18months, I’m pretty sure the longest they allow it before a review.

We had the doctors hounding us, telling us that it was medically safer for our daughter to have the next lot under sedation (which never ended up happening), we agreed as we were frightened we didn’t have as much knowledge as we do now and we had SO MUCH pressure placed upon us, “disgusting their child isn’t immunised”, “sorry we can’t allow you here at this day car”, “a scummy Mum”, “a shitty parent”, when in fact I’m not against vaccines, remember all my other children are vaccinated, they just didn’t have a life-threatening reaction.

Scarlett just had her second lot of vaccines, I regret, I should have stood up. I shouldn’t have worried about the judgments. I should have researched more.

She didn’t seize but it’s definitely affected her mentally.

She’s traumatised, she has more breath-holdings then ever before, she is confused (calls for Mummy when I’m holding her), she’s now back to square one with her fears of big people and her anxiety. She isn’t gaining weight… the list goes on.

They sent us a review and are wanting to do more vaccinations in 6 months.

I’ve sat down and spoke with Russ and we are both agreeing that we won’t risk it, she’s not strong enough, we are scared for her, we have to be HER VOICE, because she doesn’t have one. We couldn’t give a shit now what people’s opinions are.

It’s not their child they almost lost.

The message is this –

I urge you NOT TO BE AFRAID. Don’t just blindly follow because you’re scared of what others might say.

Don’t let anyone put pressure on you whether you vaccinate or not. This is your child, it’s your right.

As I’ve said above, my other children are fine, they didn’t have reactions but everyone is different everyone is made up of different genetic material.

We are not all the same. My daughter could have died and no one wanted to admit even the possibility of immunisations being the cause!

Speak up for what you want and your beliefs, not what majority do!

You are your child’s voice. I’m sorry that was so long, I hold my tears back every time I write or talk about it.

Reflecting on my little baby at 4 months old, being medicated though her skull.

I thank God though that she’s still here with me!

I’ll never give up on her.

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